life

Deny-ers and Obsess-ers

There are going to be some days when I completely fail as a mother.

This is true for all of us, but what really gets under my skin is moms who don’t believe this could ever be so for them. Or at least they wouldn’t ever admit it out loud.

But it shouldn’t get under my skin, which probably means there’s a little bit of that “denial” in me too.

When we deny that we fail, we will stay in that failure, and the same goes true when we obsess over failure.

I usually lean towards the obsessing. I don’t like when I fail. I’ll admit that I do it, but boy does it crush me. It can get me down so bad that I don’t even want to get out of bed.

My fleshly pride is disappointed in myself for not living up to it’s expectations of excellence and perfection, because now it has nothing to boast about.

If you want, read that last sentence out loud.

Pretty vile, huh?

It’s true for you too.

Don’t think you deny-ers are getting out of this one. That same fleshly pride tells you that there’s no way you have failed, because you are just so awesome. It’s your kids or your husband that suck! That pride makes sure that vulnerability and confession stay far far away.

Go ahead, read that out loud too.

Cause that’s probably also true for you as well.

I know it is, because I know it of me. And at the end of the day, we are all the same human-y humans.┬áComing from a home where one parent denied failure and the other one drowned himself in it, neither of these is going to be good for your children. (disclaimer- I love my parents, and my mom and I are working on things together. At the end of the day, I’m responsible for my actions- no one else.)

Stop denying your failures, and learn from them.

Stop obsessing over your failures, and learn from them.

At the end of the yucky day, confess, repent, and resolve to start over tomorrow.

I promise you, your children (or spouse, friends, co-workers, team members, community group, etc) will watch how you handle failure. Use it as a tool for grace, learning and the gospel.

Its not even 10 yet. You still have time to start the day over.

Holy Sanctification Process Batman, What the Crap is Happening?

What an insane 24 hours it has been. We all know one of the reasons why, and for the sake of all of our sanity, I won’t talk politics.

Last night my son woke up at around 3:45 in the morning. Typically when this happens, something spiritually fishy is going on, but I was drugged up on NyQuil, so Daniel handled it.

I woke up this morning to my phone being blown up with texts about friends in the hospital. Seizures, brain bleeds, emergency open heart surgery, respiratory infections…. THE WORKS!

How quickly God can put into perspective what is most important.

How quickly God can remind us of WHO is actually in charge.

Today has been physically and emotionally exhausting, but spiritually I feel SO ALIVE. I feel like my church family is suffering together, and suffering well. I haven’t really realized, until today, how much we love each other. It’s incredible and perhaps a snapshot of what heaven will be like (without the pain, tears, and weird hospital socks).

As wounded soldiers who are having to get their broken bones set and bandaged up, we are all leaning on each other for help, and it may be one of the most humbling and amazing times of my life.

If you are of the kind that prays, pray for Church On The Way. Pray for endurance, rest, strength, courage, hope and faith.

God is walking with us through the valleys.

 

Break All My Bones Part 2: Fear is a Liar.

I know that my blog posts are so spaced out, and I really apologize. We have been without a computer for several weeks now. We’ve had three computers die on us over the course of the summer, and it’s just been the dumbest thing. So I am reduced to blogging in my spare time at work.

Anyways, one day I will get to the real meat of the Break All My Bones series on here, but here is some more of that.

Fear is something that has always ruled my life, and just recently has God really been pulling that out of me by it’s bloody root. To help my mind accept that living in fear is not living at all, I ordered some vinyl lettering from my job and put it up on the bedroom wall right next to my bed. This stuff is big, bold, and and blunt. It’s the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I see when I go to bed.

IT IS THE TRUTH. It is reality. And it is helping me immensely.

What keeps you from living life with joy, peace, passion and rest?