Oh Great God
You are as confusing as You are breathtaking
As mysterious as You are bright
Oh Zealous Redeemer
In times such as this, faith cannot be explained
Nor can we claim responsibility for it
Oh Mighty Fortress
Protect us from our creeping doubts
Shield us from the whore of lies
May not we stumble into the traps of bitterness
As we wonder why
Oh Perfect Understander
What is it to rejoice in new life
And yet, to grieve the sting of death
Oh Unending Provider
You extend unmerited grace as we question
The outcomes You’ve allowed
Because You know that in the questioning
We crawl closer to You in our search for answers
Leaving us to dine in communion together
Even when the whys are left in waiting
My friend and Pastor’s wife, Amber, is an amazing artist and writer. She has often been able to tap into the deepness of how things feel and write it out in such a way that brings a real peace, at least for me. I haven’t posted in over a week, due to exhaustion and a long and early labor, but as I hear of the painful things going on around me and the things I’m feeling in my own heart, I felt this was appropriate to share for today. I hope this piece Amber wrote brings you as much peace as it did for me.
“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” -Psalm 46:10
When I am afraid, when my heart is pounding.
When all I can do is exist in fear and panic.
You bring peace to my troubled soul.
The turbulent sloshing of my emotions is stilled by your presence.
I know the assurance and comfort of your words, your hand on my heart.
Be still and know…
As my life spins with uncertainty and I quiver at quaking ground beneath my feet.
When I am reeling, knocked breathless by the bile of anxiety crawling up my throat, you still my doubts.
When disease and financial ruin steal away my equilibrium,
You breathe rest and security by reminding me of your past and continued provision for me, by reminding me of your goodness, your greatness.
Be still and know that I Am God…
When I am angry.
When my self-righteousness and need for justice becomes greater in my mind than your divinity.
When I begin to chafe at hurts and fiery darts hurled at me and those I care for, and I plot a way to set things right.
In your still small voice you remind me of my sinfulness and my own need for your grace, your mercy.
You correct my wandering heart for you alone are God, the righteous judge. And your ways are not my ways and your ways are always good.
Be still and know that I am God…
When I am with you and my mind wanders, when I have been given an opportunity to be in your presence and I cannot forget myself, you gently remind me of your presence in my heart. You lead me into worship and intimacy by revealing yourself, your love for me and leaving in me the joy of praise to the lover of my soul. You allow me to simply enjoy you.
Be still and know that I am God…
When I am sad and feel alone, when my fear of vulnerability imprisons me behind my walls of defense. When I am struggling to feel connected, worthy, treasured. You speak to me with the closeness, familiarness of old friends, brought together long ago and sharing all of life. You reveal my own heart to me with the intimacy of a lover who knows my vulnerabilities and loves me, loves me with such tenderness, a delicate handling of the wounded places in my heart. You heal my hurts and replace the scarred tissue with new life.
Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted…
When I am fretful about the future. When it seems as if the battle is too much, too long, too hard. When it seems as if the victory has been snatched away and those I love are left hurting, wounded, bleeding. When I have been betrayed and watched my fellow soldiers walk away from the fight…
You are strong. You infuse my weary heart with the calm, steady assurance of your victory, already won by your son. You invigorate my battle worn heart with your sovereignty over all things, people and times. You give me promise and hope that your works will be finished, that the power residing in me is the power that spoke the universe into place, commands legions of angels and can bring about the resurrection of the dead into new life. You are the great I Am, the Alpha and the Omega.
Last year, in a music-related post, I talked about the band Life in Your Way, and more specifically, their song This is Who I am, off of their Kingdoms album.
Well, it’s a song that sticks with me, and has recently come back in my life since I’ve started training for that 5k.
Running, much like life in general, is really hard (for me). There are endless reasons, situations, and people that make it difficult. On top of that, we as human beings, add the burden of who we think we are to that list of things that further our hardship.
It’s just really helpful, especially in a moment when you feel defeated because you are slightly overweight and extremely out of shape, when someone screams in your ear the lyrics from above. “He doesn’t see what I see…”
I am so thankful for that. Because what I often see (which I think I talked about in that post last year as well-haha) is someone who can never get it together. And it kills me.
I am so glad I have a God that looks at me with the eyes of THE creator, redeemer and sanctifier. When I really, REALLY settle on that for a moment, getting over myself seems doable.
If you are His son or daughter, the way you see yourself holds no weight against the truth of who you actually are.