exercise

The Sh-sh-sh-shakes

Yesterday a terrorist that looked like my child traded lives with him.

Granted, teeth are starting to plow through his gums at full force now. And he did have a rash on his little booty that was something awful. But my gawwwl. His discomfort propelled him into doing everything that he was not supposed to do with an iron will. I lost count of the tantrums by noon.

Several things happen when a day like yesterday sideswipes me with no forewarning from my periph:

1) I want to eat everything that is terrible

2) I want to watch everything that will make me feel like I am escaping

3) I get a jaw-clenching headache

4) The sh-sh-sh-shakes

5) I think of ways to sound extra desperate so that I can convince Daniel to come home

6) The thought of moving, much less working out, makes me hate life

7) I rarely, if ever at all, think to ask God for help

I can just hear the gasps of judgement coming through the computer screen as the perfect moms of America read this in complete shock and bewilderment. Praise God I don’t know too many of those. I’d punch them in their perfectly groomed hair.

Anyways, I feel like numbers 6 and 7 are pretty sucky. But besides being a sad state of affairs, I feel like they may be tied to one another in a way.

My normal inclination would have been to feel all of those things and follow through with them. But yesterday, somewhere in all of the frazzle-ness I mustered up enough life to work out. I ended up vigorously dancing for 25 minutes and burned about 200 calories. I also did 50 crunches, 15 in-and-outs and 10 push-ups. That’s incredible for a day like yesterday.

I also felt more peaceful spiritually. I was able to thank God for the day instead of dismissing Him all together. That’s incredible for a day like yesterday.

The physical and the spiritual seem to ignite each other. Sometimes when I feel like giving up on health, God encourages me through prayer, another person, a picture, something I read, etc. And sometimes when I don’t feel like having a relationship with God, exercise pushes me towards Him.

It’s pretty sweet. I don’t know, I feel like there should be a conclusion or a “moral of the story,” but it just feels really simple this time.

What kind of stuff defines days like this for you? What are you defaults when these days occur?

How do you fight it?

Motivation.

Those days when we wake up and we say, “NOPE.”

We must fight those days. Today is like that for me. Sometimes we can identify the lack of motivation. Other times it’s not so obvious.

I read something at the very right moment this morning. I was battling in my head whether or not I was going to run today. I was browsing through my tweets and saw one that my friend Kacie had posted about a NVR STOP blog post.

“If you make doubt and fear your vacation home, it’s time to burn it.”

Umm, yea. What encouragement.

I’m almost three and a half weeks strong of consistent and challenging exercise. It only took me almost a whole year after Abram was born to finally identify what was holding me back from being healthy, even though I so desperately wanted to be. I can save that whole novel for another post on another day.

But it’s been great.

Accept for yesterday. And this morning. I just don’t feel like it. The few other times I have felt this way over the past several weeks, I would end up pushing myself further. I keep telling myself, “The more I don’t want to do this, the harder I am going to do it.”

I also have to remind myself when I feel like I can’t run any longer that I once pulled heavy Americans in a cart on the back of a bicycle for a living.

Sometimes I pretend like I’m racing the devil. HE CANNOT WIN.

I’m thankful for the moments when God shows up in the snares of laziness (like this morning) and has me read something that fills me with strength.

“He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” Isaiah 40:29-31

Whatever you are up against today, overcome it. And do it hard.

Burn that vacation home.