Tuesday has never failed to come my way. As long as I’m alive, I’ll have Tuesday. I got to thinking about my different routines yesterday, and how far I’ve come. Three years ago, the thought of doing something for more than a few weeks (at most!) was really difficult for me to accept. “That’s just how creatives are,” they say (whoever “they” is). Well, whatever. That doesn’t mean it’s ok.
I don’t like not being able to master something quickly. If it takes me longer than 48 hours, then it’s over. I might keep doing it for a while, but my heart isn’t there. Even if I do master it, I get bored. You’d think I’d go pursue the next level of whatever that “thing” is. But nah, give me something else.
I’m a really impatient person (in case you haven’t concluded that from the 13 sentences prior to this one). So a routine isn’t something that comes easy to me. Now, can I fall into one fast? Sure. But as soon as I realize I’m there, my mind is all like, “No way, man!” and then I end up joining Anytime Fitness instead of finishing my interval training for a 5k.
I tell myself and Daniel that I’m not quitting my interval training, that I just have to start over and that’s ok. But will I REALLY try again and FINISH? Probably not.
But like I said, I’ve come far, even though it’s starting to sound like I’m still the same. Sometimes being a wife can feel like a routine. But that’s one I refuse to give up on, even when it doesn’t come easy. Same with being a mom. I DID NOT master that B in 48 hours, that’s for sure. Still haven’t, and I probably won’t until my child is 37. Or my flesh is dead, and I’m with Jesus.
Tuesdays. Usually on Tuesdays, I go to leadership meeting for Church on the Way. In fact, I don’t think I’ve missed a Tuesday since October, when I first started going. That’s strange, considering what a routine act that is.
One would question why I don’t quit at going to this meeting. It’s not the most enjoyable experience every week. Usually we start off with some scripture, and then talk about how we are succeeding or failing in that area. Every week God reveals to me something yucky about myself that I need to change, and I don’t like it! I mean, who does? After that, we talk about to-do lists and projects, and then eat lunch. A group 0f 6 sinners sitting around with the common goal to share the gospel, while discovering the gospel themselves.
It is SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
As a “creative,” I like to diminish the significance of a routine. I find that myself grouping it in with the words “boring” and “mundane.” Well, I think it has become routine for God to wreck my pride and punch a hole through my black heart every Tuesday. That isn’t boring or mundane at all. If anything, it’s quite fascinating and often produces some of the most inspired songs I’ve written to date.
Funny enough, I had to break this Tuesday routine of mine today. Taking care my little sick Abe is a must.