Life

Man O’ War.

So one of my new year’s goals back in January was to write and record an album. This is the first season of my life where I have felt both the need and the courage to do this, so I’ve been tackling it for the past two and a half months. The process of writing has been wonderful, and it usually flows out of me when the hurricanes of a bad day hit. I didn’t originally have a plan for this album; I just knew I wanted to do it. But as I’ve written, this project has turned into a concept. I never thought I’d be the author of a concept album, because usually my writings and lyrics are so sporadic and don’t really ever flow. But as I’ve been writing, I’ve noticed a common theme, the idea that ties them all together: the sea.

I wrote this one song a month ago on Valentines day, and just recently arranged the music for it. Hopefully Daniel and I can get a rough track done soon. I’d like to share with you the song, but also the thoughts I wrote down before the lyrics came rushing out.

I imagined the idea for this song on my way home from surprising Daniel with his valentine. Earlier I had written about a deep sin struggle, and was reflecting when I thought about the time my sister got stung by a man o’ war jellyfish. I thought about how it wrapped around her body, its tentacles penetrating her skin with its thousands of anchors stuck to her and in her. When they finally got it removed, she was torn up, bloody, swollen and paralyzed. She was unable to move for two weeks. When my sister saw the jellyfish, she went after it because she thought it was a ball. She had no idea that lurking beneath the water were long, dangerous tentacles that were very harmful and potentially fatal.

I liken it to sin. Enticing and often seemingly good and harmless, we chase after something and don’t realize we are about to be consumed by it. Sin burrows into us and holds us captive. And when God decides to rid us of our parasite, we can often be left bloody, broken and barely standing. We eventually heal and come out of it stronger, wiser, more humble and exponentially more compassionate.

However, the stronger the sin, the deeper those anchors go and the more painful it is to have them pulled out. Sin equals death, so when I think about death being pulled out of us, removed by its roots, it is nothing short of a hellish sight.

I want this song to be honest and graphic. I want to take the imagination to a place that paints a realistic picture of what this process is like. In the end, it is worth every bit of pain and terror.

Like a child to a ball
Are my eyes fixed on this
As the child goes after the toy
I will lie cheat and kill to get it
Grabbing it tight
And my eyes shutter with satisfaction
This thing has swallowed me whole

Like a man o’ war anchored into my skin
Deep are the veins that fill with poison
Wrapped around me
Squeezing
Consumed

Don’t rip them out
You’ll tear at my skin
If only gently removed
You might not hurt it
Terror fills my eyes
And the pain leaves me sick
Now I sit in my massacred mess

Like a man o’ war anchored into my skin
Deep are the veins that fill with poison
Wrapped around me
Squeezing
Consumed

Like a child to your knee
Are my eyes fixed on you
I can move whole again
Battle scars were once wounds
Your hands saved me
Thanks for pulling death and I apart
Now I see through new eyes

The New Things.

Today came just in time.

I’ve felt like a laboring field lately.  Or a bathtub with the cold, dirty water being drained out of it.

But today…. this day has been a day of solitude, study, intercession, worship, celebration, and creativity. A wondrous and lovely day indeed.

I made some new pieces recently for my etsy shop, and had a small photo shoot with myself earlier. I’m glad I did that, because it gave me that little inspiration I needed to come up with some other new stuff. You can find all of these treasures if you click HERE…. or just click the etsy button —> over there on the side of the page. It’ll take you right to ’em.

Also, it is just GORGEOUS outside.

 

2 Years.

It’s weird. 2 years of marriage went by uncomfortably fast. But it feels good to say that those two years were vastly substantial. Lots of meat. Real rich.

Here’s our story in a few pictures.

We met in 2007. He didn’t give me a second thought and I thought he was rude and scary.

I did a lot of dancing in 2008. A single, care-free and crazy gal. He got to live the life of the road and spent most of his time with good people.

Thanks to the pretty lady in the middle, we were reunited at the beginning of 2009. Our status went from acquaintances to friends over the year. And then on September 11th, we spend the day together. By the end of September, we decided we wanted to get married. And the rest is history….

My life with Daniel is better than it ever was without him, even in our rough moments. He is my best friend, and my leader. I love him THE MOST much.