Today I want to share with you a song that manages to dig into me on a very deep level like no other song has ever done, as far as I can remember or think of.
I think the reason why I like this song as much as I do is because he manages to put into really ugly, uncomfortable words how I have felt when I’ve had to spend time with my family. The beginning of the chorus, “So bum me a cigarette, buy me a beer til’ I’m happy to be here, happy to be here…” I’m not gonna lie, I’ve felt this very desire on more than one occasion; something to take the edge of rage off so that I can hold myself together.
Family is hard, especially when healthy functionality is smothered out by every despicable action and addiction imaginable. You want to love them, but you can’t help but hate them and feel so broken and lost about that hatred. And then you try and reconcile with Jesus this mess that you feel you have to hold up and carry on your own, even though it’s already been taken care of for you.
I’m getting there.
Disclaimer: there is one cuss word in this song, and it is at the beginning. I know that some of you may find that offensive, and I completely respect and understand that. However, I do challenge you to look past the word and see it in the context of the song and of the story as a whole. Listen to what he is singing, and study his face. Hear his story, whatever it is. Because there are hundreds of these stories around you everyday.
I’ve decided that I’m calling my quest to run at least one 5k this year my Runapalooza 2013. Ever since Daniel and I joked about WedFest 2010 (which ended up being what we permanently called our wedding, it was on the invites and everything) I like to name the events in my life as such. It’s fun and it motivates me for some weird reason. I also keep a huge chart at the top of my mirror so that there’s no way I can forget or be tempted to skip a day. Getting to cross a day off is like finishing a college final. It feels so good. I have missed a few days because of last minute scheduling conflicts, but I make them up by adding that missed work out onto the next day.
Anyways, I wanted to share my progress so that there’s a level of accountability between you and me. This is my third week of Couch to 5k, or Interval Training (I like the latter MUCH more). It only requires running intervals 3 times a week, so I’m working out in between my run days. I will say that this method of training is really working for me, and each day I run it feels a little bit easier, and I can run for a little bit longer. I use the nike run app to keep record of what I’m doing, and it’s encouraging to look back on each week and see the progression.
Guys, I’m SOOOOO out of shape, it’s hilarious. For my work out days, I’ve been attempting the interval workouts, where you do a really extreme exercise for 50 seconds, and then take 10 seconds rest, and then do the next really extreme exercise for 50 seconds, and so on.
I seriously almost barfed when I had to do star jumps. And don’t even get me started on burpees… I can do 2. I don’t understand how only 4 years ago I was able to pull giant tourists around on a bike for 12 hours, and now doing a jumping jack makes me die. It just goes to show how easily and quickly our health can turn to crap when it’s not an important part of our daily routine.
I think my biggest struggle right now is consistently making healthy food choices. I can be so rockin’ awesome all day long, eating the right amount of calories and putting the best foods in my body, and then at night it’s all ruined by over eating (i.e. last nights beer-coffee-chocolate Chili, corn bread and 2 rice crispy treats…)
Self Control is so hard! Especially when you struggle with a comfort addiction (news flash: we all struggle with that). It’s just really hard when that comfort you long so deeply for lies in those fresh chocolate chip cookies… or at least you think it does. But alas, I digress.
I’m just taking it one day at a time, and not beating myself up at the end of the day if I make some mistakes. I surrender the mistakes and the control I want to have over it, allow myself to be forgiven, and resolve to start anew the next morning.
It’s working out!
What about you? What’s your biggest strength/struggle in the uphill climb to a healthy lifestyle? How can I help you stay accountable? What advice do you have for me?
When words are many, transgression (sin) is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. -Proverbs 10:19
There’s no real way of getting around that. In fact, it doesn’t really need a whole lot of explanation. I do have some questions, though.
Do you like to talk?
Do you feel like your stories, opinions and comments are important?
Important enough that they need to be heard?
Important enough that they need to be heard often?
Do you usually find yourself being the center of the conversation in a group or a one-on-one encounter?
Do you find yourself not really knowing your friends that well?
Do you feel like deep relationships are lacking in your life?
What are your Facebook statuses like?
What are your Tweets like?
Are you uncomfortable yet?
You might get mad, or ask yourself, “who does she think she is?” But, like I said, there’s no real way of getting around that verse. Especially if you say you believe in the Bible.
I don’t like this verse either, and those of you who know me well know that I’ve been known to enjoy my opinions, especially when I get to share them. But if I really, REALLY think about all of the talking I’ve done in the past week, and recap what I’ve said to the people around me…
Transgression was not lacking, and that is not ok.