If Only.

Thorns // J A T W

If we all truly grasped how depraved and crooked we really are, the internet would be a lot quieter. Kinda like a late night dinner with friends of different walks of life, sharing calmly over a bottle of wine.

But instead, the comment threads have become a zoo cage full of monkeys screeching and throwing their own poo at each other. And that poo is lit on fire, so it burns it’s opponents.

I’ve done it. I’m guilty.

I don’t typically like to use “we” in my posts, because I learned a while back that it’s better to only talk about myself when referencing shittiness. But my goodness gracious, folks. What are we doing to each other?

This week it was the whole Word Vision catastrophe. But honestly, it’s something new each month, each week, even each day that we rip each other new ones over. I have lost count of how many times I’ve seen comments this week that involve words aimed to condemn someone else for not showing “love” like they should….wait. WHAT?

How are we not seeing this schizophrenia?

There’s plenty of people out there that have talked about this before, and in much more intelligible ways. I don’t have data or statistics or snapshots of troll’s comments to show you to help me make my point. I guess I’m just trying to flesh this out and figure out what it is that we have become.

I don’t have any answers at the moment because I’m trying to find them myself. But I do speculate that if we are going to get anywhere, we must start setting the fire-poo down and begin pulling the sleep masks off of our own eyes that keep us from seeing how sick our hearts are. Doing a little bit o’ that each day might change the way we see and respond to each other.


This is nothing new.


I Was Made To…

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This is my dearest friend, Genie Uribe. I say dearest, because we’ve known each other since birth, and I simply cannot imagine a season in my future that she will not be a crucial part of. Anyways, she posted this song on youtube yesterday.

Whether you like the song or not, whether you enjoy female vocals or not, whether you are a Christian or not… the girl can freakin’ sing. That’s not something you can deny Genie, and if you try, you’ll just end up looking like a fool…

…Because Genie was made to sing.

I believe we were all created to point to, make famous of and glorify the one Who created us. And from there, each one of us was created to do one, or two or twenty specific things that accomplish that.

I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a witness of Jesus Christ in every day life. To be a witness of someone…. you would have to have witnessed something that they’ve done. Haha. So what is it that I have witnessed Christ do/is doing in my own little broken world, and how he is restoring it? How is he nudging me to point to, make famous of and glorify Him?

Well, there are many things I’ve seen Him do. But to stay in the same vein of the topic at hand, He has put people in my path who do what they were made to do. I have friends who sing, paint, talk about comics, record music, read poetry, teach, protect, make whiskey, design, give great hair cuts, tell stories, listen, organize, draw, paint nails artistically, counsel, make people laugh, write children’s books and sci-fi novels, rollerskate (competitively), take pictures, pay attention to the elderly, answer 911 calls, make guitars, exercise (professionally), play with kids, create delicious lattes, make movies, hang with teenagers, build legos, work at orphanages, make soap… and the list could go on. Almost everyone around me, just by living well, restores my soul and pushes me to do the things I was created to do. And while I’m nervous to say that that’s Jesus working in my life (because the internet is scary)…

That’s what I believe.

What were you made to do?

Correction: Flesh is a Liar.

Flesh is a Liar

Fear isn’t actually a liar. It’s a normal, emotional response whatever stimuli causes it.

Flesh is the liar. Our flesh says, “OHHH FEAR! GOODY! Let me use it to keep myself comfortable.”

I think I’ve been getting it all wrong. Seriously. If you’ve seen posts from the past, you know I have “Fear Is A Liar” written across my bedroom wall in very large letters, thinking it would help me get out of bed each morning as I read it.

But it hasn’t done that at all. It was kinda cool at first, seeing it up there in that popular cursive font.

You know what should be there instead? Someone’s art. Maybe mine, maybe someone else’s. Cause at least then, someone created something and it’s being admired.

No, instead I have a big, dumb, false sentence up on my wall.


I didn’t realize this misunderstanding until the other day when I was sharing with a group of friends how I wished I could be fearless, like Jesus was. Loving me, they quickly and gently corrected me.

 And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed,  saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. Luke 22:41-44

Jesus freaking sweat HARD. People who are fearless don’t sweat in agony.

I often forget that Jesus was an actual human being with real, human emotions. I seldom remember that the Savior of the world asked His father to not allow what was about to happen, happen. He didn’t want to be betrayed by his friend, physically ripped to shreds and have the weight of the entire world’s sin (past, present and future) crush him to actual death.

Jesus wasn’t fearless, He was obedient. And because of His perfect obedience,  I have the ability to be obedient too.

So, what the hell am I even talking about? Aren’t I just arguing semantics? 

No, I don’t think so. I think there are some things we need to make distinctions about in this life, because they make a big difference in whether or not we actually come alive during the short duration we are here on earth.

Fear says, “That’s scary!”

Flesh says, “Exactly, so why bother?”

Fear says, “That’s risky!”

Flesh says, “…And you might fail, which would be sooooo humiliating. Just stay put instead.”

Fear says, “What if I actually succeed?”

Flesh says, “That’s uncharted territory, and you know how we feel about that (*cue self-sabotage).”

The Spirit says, “Be quiet and go right a song.”

Get where I’m going with this? Fear isn’t bad. Not only is it a tool that can prevent us from physical harm, but it also gives us the opportunity to overcome our fallen nature and be victorious.

It gives us the opportunity to be obedient. To engage the Spirit.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:16-17

The biggest reason I think this distinction is so important is because if we blame fear for our lack  of movement, we don’t take any of the responsibility for it. It’s all fear’s fault… right?

Nah, dawg.

The Creator bestowed upon all of us gifts, talents, abilities and ideas, and they are to be used in order to piece back together the worlds broken parts. I think that something heavenly happens when my flesh tries to seduce me with my fear and I choose not to give in. That’s one of those seemingly small moments, but a moment where God’s glory is taking place.

So, I think I’m gonna take those letters off of my wall.