Let me preface what I have to say today with this: I know I wrote recently of giving up some commitments so that I can focus on what matters. Well, I did that.
I have to say that this is the first time in my life that ALL of my toiling involve things I am passionate about. There are two reasons why this has never been the case in the past:
1. It was not the right season of life
2. I was too scared
Each day I wake up, and I want to hustle so hard. I want to do more and more, and no matter how much I get done by the end of the day, there is still SO MUCH MORE. But it’s not the kind of “more” that has obligation attached to it. It’s the kind of “more” that heats up my blood and moves one foot in front of the other, and so on. I don’t know how I believed the lie that said “I suck at everything” for so long. I am doing things, dangit, and I am doing them well.
Sidenote: None of this is to my own credit. It’s all God kids. All God.
Any who, I find myself wishing there were more hours in the day. My plate is piling up, but I fear my eyes are bigger than my stomach. With the way I am going, I will HAVE to give something up in order to put my all in to the other things.
The reality is, I am only one physical human body that has 24 hours in a day just like everyone else. I’m seeing myself start to tip toe around the opposite extreme of my formal self, which is the person who takes on the amount of work that would suffice for 10 people. Before, fear was so at large in my heart that it kept me from doing pretty much everything. Now the Creator fuels the fire, and I just can’t get enough. I just can’t get enough (boy I think about it every night and day…)
Oh yes. I did just quote a Black Eyed Peas lyric. And I actually kinda hate that song. Forgive me.
Alas, I digress. I need to do some real soul searching, and decide what passion[s] needs to be priority. Obviously, God should be my ultimate priority (that’s for all of you Jesus Jukers who were about to slam the “God comes first” card down). But within the realm of the Father lies the brush and canvas in hand.
What masterpiece will come of it?